The Village and The Villager
Three Practical Ways to Be a Better Villager
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” (Romans 12:9 NIV)
A long-distance friend and I were enjoying an overdue phone call one recent afternoon. It was the kind of conversation where catching up on life gave way to laughing at well-worn memories and sharing those thoughts that had been living at the top of our minds. During one of her reflections, my friend paused and said, “Everyone wants a village, but no one wants to be a villager.” Her words stayed with me after we hung up as I reflected on what she shared.
In a world saturated with encouragement for self-care and hyper-independence, it comes as no surprise that our villages are dwindling. The world is beginning to feel the cost of neglected community, and beneath the self-centered noise, there is a longing for something deeper. There are times when it is easy to rejoice with those who rejoice and to mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15). We do this naturally during the Christmas season, at graduation parties, funerals, and birthdays. But what about the ordinary moments in between?
Spirit check: Am I being a villager to my village?
In Romans 12, Paul urges Christians to choose a countercultural life in response to God’s vast mercy for us—to not conform to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2 NIV). Instead of choosing to focus on self-care, how might we show love to others through a life of self-sacrifice?
Romans 12:9 offers an important framework: “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good” (NIV). Hate and cling—these are two distinct verbs that center my focus. When it comes to serving others, we must do both—hate what is evil and cling to what is good, not choosing just one or the other.
Here are three ways we can live out Romans 12:9 within our villages:
1–See the Absent Friend
Hate what is evil: Decline the temptation to speculate about a friend who has gone silent. It is easy to slip into gossip under the disguise of prayer or concern.
Cling to what is good: Ask yourself, have I extended myself to this friend? Then do so. The possibility of rejection can make us feel vulnerable, but it is better to show up for others than to remain silent.
Example: Choose a cute greeting card from the store (or craft one!) and write this friend a simple note letting them know you are thinking of them. Receiving a handwritten letter from a friend brings such joy—it also removes pressure for them to respond immediately.
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2–Pray With Others in the Moment
Hate what is evil: When someone shares something with us—either exciting or challenging—it can be easy to unintentionally deliver an empty promise of “I will be praying for you” without actually committing to prayer.
Cling to what is good: We can open up the opportunity to pray with them in the moment. If separated by distance, consider sending them an audio message to pray with them on a personal level.
Example: Days before giving birth, I confided in a friend that I was anxious. To my surprise, I received an audio message from her praying over me, my family, and my upcoming labor. What a beautiful way we can use the phone at our fingertips to serve others.
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3–Open Our Homes
Hate what is evil: When overindulging in the solitude of home becomes habitual, solitude can turn into isolation. Isolation can dull our spiritual edge, separate us from community, and keep us from sharing our God-given gifts with others.
Cling to what is good: Let’s open our homes to others. We don’t need to use the fancy napkins or deep clean each room—people need our presence over the perfect presentation.
Example: Host a small group of women in your community to complete a Bible study, sip something warm, and pray together. Your Bibles, some places to sit, and willing hearts are more than enough.
Being a villager requires vulnerability and investing in others. Though it may feel uncomfortable at times, we are called to be set apart as Christians, living a life marked by sincere love and service. We give and receive. Community is built in the ordinary moments of life, so let’s show up faithfully for our villages.
Reflection Questions:
Is there an absent friend that I can reach out to this week?
How would my village benefit if I prayed with them in the moment?
What obstacles are holding me back from opening my home to others?
